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My New Years resolutions are just a list of mixed drinks I haven`t tried yet.
The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
Making an effort in the last of 2014 to cut away distractions so I can spend more time with my iPhone.
I swear my cat was an alarm clock in a previous life...
I thought I was on the cash cab show! But turns out I was in a police car and cops hate trivia.
Heard you like bad boys .... Well, I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn`t ask my parents.
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you..
My bank is the worst. They`re charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently, I can`t even afford to be broke.
I tried kickboxing, but I couldn`t get the hang of walking with boxing gloves on my feet.
Be careful on how tough you are on your kids....Strict parents create sneaky children.
I admit ive been known to wrap bacon in bacon just for the extra bacon flavor
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.
"I need to talk to you” is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you’ve ever done in your life.
Mirror mirror on the wall, I am sexy; screw you all.
I’m going back to sleep. I refuse to give up on my dreams that easily.