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This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
Sorry I referred to your baby shower as a gift extortion party.
Stall Cleaning service, Satisfaction guaranteed or 100% or you manure back!
I`m only 2 girls short of a threesome.
Mondays should start at noon.
It would be cool if you heard a thunder bug a few seconds after you saw a lightning bug.
I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.
Life is far too short to remove the USB safely.
This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
If you´re cooler than me, doesnt that make me hotter than you?
To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon
If you aren`t sure if you like someone, here`s a test: imagine they`re dead. Now, was it an accident or did you murder them?
Current relationship status: Leaving pizza and beer in the bushes, to lure in stalkers.
Sorry I mispronounced your baby`s name you made up.
Hey, did you know that in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday!