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You know vacation should be over when all you do is sit around naked, drinking fruity malt liquor beverages
Before we start this relationship, I am going to need you to explain a few pics in your Facebook albums.
When i am bored, i like parking along side the xpressway stick a hair dryer out the window, and watch everyone slam on their brakes.
It is literally impossible to prove that Harry Potter wasn`t just in his parents basement on acid the whole time
Can we all just agree to start spelling it "Wensday"?
Synonym: Word used in place of the one you can`t spell.
The problem with the general public is that it`s made of people.
Must be nice to get married and finally know who the number one suspect in your murder case will be
and alcohol are now friends.
Just bought an exercise bike today because my treadmill works fine for laying my pants on, but it won`t accommodate hanging shirts on hangers.
This hot fudge sundae hasn`t killed me so it must be making me stronger.
All these women on the 48 dating sites I`ve joined, seem so f*cking sad and desperate.
I`d go to church if they had Wi-Fi.
Why is powdered milk called ‘Instant milk’? Actual milk is far more instant.
Are walruses just vampire manatees?