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Easter can be just as much fun as an adult as it was as a child. Just paint and hide beer cans instead of eggs.
Not to cause a panic but i`m starting to think we`re running out of things to stuff inside pizza crust.
Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible.
I accidentally ran over my neighbour`s cat........... Nine times....... just in case
Call me lazy, but if it takes two clicks Iām not reading it.
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
Every club is a strip club, if you have the money. Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you have the balls.
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
I get as much action as a white crayon.
My mind says go to the gym but my heart says food.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medication bottle and see "May cause extreme sexiness."
I wish that we lived in a world where a chicken could cross the road without getting its motives questioned.
Full disclosure: All my statuses with less than 3 likes were made by my intern.
Single Awareness Day ..... it`s a S.A.D. day
My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got a lift from the driver.