Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone`s cake is way harder than it looks on cartoons.
I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I’m going to have.
Anyone that tells you money is the root of all evil is f*cking broke.
I stayed at a really nice, really fancy hotel this weekend. The towels were so thick I could hardly get my suitcase shut.
The guest of honour was a bit subdued. The Keyboardist was playing too softly for my liking. But it was a good turnout, lots of food and laughter. But break out into one choreographed `Thriller` dance routine and the crowd goes all apesh!t and tosses you out of the funeral home.
Wishing a happy unbirthday to everybody who`s birthday isn`t today.
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
I’m starting to think that some of you are misspelling words on porpoise.
Everyday I run into someone who pushes me past the limits of my medication.
How long do I have to stand in front of the microwave for to become a member of X-Men?
The longer I stay at home. The more homeless looking I look.
Was that lightning? ... No, they`re taking pictures for Google Earth.
I`m right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?
Someone has got to come up with a polite way to ask a fat girl if she`s pregnant.
Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?