Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...
If women really knew what men think, there would be restraining orders on all men.
I`m going to propose with a mood ring so I can easily see a measurement of how excited she really is.
I read in the Bible that people used to get stoned to death, that`s a lot of weed.
The only F word out a woman`s mouth that scares me is "fine."
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They`ve got nothing to lose." -Robin Williams
I hate lying to kids but my daughter asked me what twerking was and I told her it was when identical twins go to each others` jobs
Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
The first rule of elevator club is don`t talk to other members of elevator club.
Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
I may not be the only egomaniac around here, but I’m the only one that matters.
If a dwarf smokes weed does he get high or medium?
If you kept one of those jars where I`d have to put in a quarter every time I swore, you would be a billionaire by the end of the week.