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Let’s get naughty and save Santa the trip.
**TORNADO WARNING** Everyone head to Giants Stadium. Safest place to avoid a touch down.
Just came to the realization that with their ridiculous fees, I`m tipping my ATM more than my bartender.
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
Checking the time on your phone twice because you were`nt paying attention the first time
I have the body of a God. Unfortunately, it`s Buddha.
I accidentally had two energy drinks today and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.
People who enjoy life, rarely have a flat stomach.
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.
I love watching The Simpsons. They never get old.