Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Workout Journal Day #5: Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
Just found out that I’m 53 Cheetos tall.
If you never set it, you always have the excuse, "I overslept because the alarm didn`t go off."
Getting up in the morning is like writing an essay. You want to do it, it takes a lot of effort, and you usually quit halfway through.
have you ever tried waking up in the morning? its horrible, the sun`s the wrong place and your head is so damn heavy.
F*ck It - My final thought before making decisions.
My level of sarcasm is to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
Why would you live in a place where the air hurts your face?
I eat a whole pizza before I go to the gym, because a good workout begins with low self-esteem.
"My name will live forever!" - Anonymous.
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear.
If you wear your old prom dress to the pharmacy, they`ll fill your antidepressants faster.
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.
scientific fact: never tell a woman she`s crazy unless you want to see crazy.