Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn`t even eat them.
Don`t date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.
I gotta ask you a sirius question....do you know the muffen man
Bring donuts so your coworkers will like you. Cut them in half so they will hate you again.
there are so many scams on the internet now...... Send me $19.95 an I`ll tell you how you can avoid them
The older I get .... The more dangerous it is to sneeze
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I`m making important life decisions.
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
Nothing like a brisk morning jog to start the day! Just kidding! I don`t do that.
Ok everybody. Please look in your bedroom closet. I got my stalking notes mixed up and don`t know where I am.
There are 2 kinds of people: 1) Happy morning people 2) Cranky morning people that fantasize about killing the happy morning people
They say you are what you eat, though... I don`t recall eating a sexy beast today
I finally did it. I gave my cat a bath today. It really wasn`t that bad. She enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Other than the fur sticking to the roof of my mouth, it went well.
A murderer was about to be put to death in the electric chair. "Do you have any last requests?" asked the chaplain. "One," he replied. "Will you hold my hand?"