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Marco Polo must really hate sitting near a swimming pool.
My wife said she expects the house to be clean by the time she walks in the door so I changed all of the locks.
Why go to a therapist when a woman will explain everything wrong about you free of charge?
These ramen noodles taste like payday is next Friday.
Double Stuff Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
My New Year`s Resolution is to stop making late decisions.
One of my female friend is reading a book called "Learn to drive in a week" for the last 3 years.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
Decided to cut back on my beer drinking. Fortunately, this martini is helping me through this tough time.
just bought 400 copies of Hoarders: Season 1. Not sure what to do with them.
I hate long distance relationships. That`s why I moved the fridge into my bedroom.
Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
My blood hound was just attacked by a Crip hound.
Im switching some friends from my Facebook account to my Fakebook account.
My life coach just informed me that I didnt make the team