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It`s just a mater of time before bathrooms will eventually be called Selfie Rooms
9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
someone told me I am immature and need to grow up ... so guess who is not allowed in my snow fort!!!
Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes.
I ran into a hot guy at the grocery store last week and he hasn`t tracked me down and proposed to me yet. This is why I hate movies.
There are times, when I actually am hungry like the wolf. But thanks to Duran Duran I can`t tell anyone without sound like a complete f*cking idiot
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
When bears are around, try to look skinny and they won`t eat you. If that doesn`t work, kick your buddy in the nuts and RUN!
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
This weekends forecast shows a 0% chance of cooking or cleaning, with a good chance of laying around in my pajamas.
Every time I start to feel happy I remember the shingles virus is already inside me.
I want my tombstone to say "It didn`t make me stronger."
Sorry I`m late, I didnt want to come
Just once I`d like to walk down the aisle, take my vows, say I do...Without being dragged out being told, "Ma`am, you`re not the bride..."
I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.