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Nothing makes you feel more like a kid than the right breakfast cereal. Lucky Charms for me please!
When I say “the other day” I could mean yesterday or 5 years ago there’s no in between.
Let`s simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call.
My birthday is coming up. I dont like to think of it as getting older I like to think of it as experience points.
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
Every once in a while someone really special walks into your life. That person is usually delivering a pizza
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
I`d take Cap`n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren`t on his hat.
So last night I put a whopee cushion on moms chair, waited and finally heard it go off.. I walk in with a massive smile on my face to find out that she hadn`t even sat on it yet.
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain
Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn`t it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?
Fun Things to do : Commenting “not your best” on everybody’s selfies.
I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway
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