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Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
Maybe my goal was to be a 35 year old loser on the Internet ... You don`t know.
If you`ve ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you`ve seen me wrapping Christmas presents.
Poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange.
If I had a cooking show, it would be called “Do You Smell Something Burning?”
I`ll decide whether it`s a compliment or sexual harassment.
What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life and you are starting back off at your last checkpoint.
I like to fill my medicine cabinet with marbles before I invite people over.
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
People who walk in front of the theatre screen while you`re watching a pirated movie on your computer are so rude.
If I had a nickel for every time I`ve misplaced my keys, there`d be a jarful of money I would also have to look for
We have cars that park themselves but I still gotta wave my hand 15 times before a paper towel comes out the dispenser
The trick is not let anyone know how really weird you are until it’s too late to back out.
If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I`d probably give up.