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My favorite part of the day? The food part.
Don`t you just hate it when people say stuff in thier status that you really didn`t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop. Talk to ya later.
The most misinformed people think they know all the facts.
Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
I`d love to have a sex change. Preferably from `none` to `absolutely sh!tloads`.
Facebook is cheaper than therapy, twice as effective & you can do it naked.
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared.
Am I the only one who thinks my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair?
Marriage counseling - because sometimes your spouse needs to hear from a professional that they are being an a$$
New marital Status update : Taken, but only for GRANTED
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
Its almost that time again! That`s right, its holiday season! Merry Black Friday sales, and happy spending!
I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
Drank way too much beer last night. Didn`t leave any for this morning.