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Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with "What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or sexier than you. That would be me.
It`s not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
When my kids ask what a word means, I tell them to bring me a dictionary. Then I smack them with it, and tell them to Google that shi t.
I don`t have ADD. It`s just that everything is more interesting than what I have to get done.
Before you judge me, know that I don`t give a crap. Ok, go ahead.
Of course you have a right to your own opinion. Just like I have a right to tell you to shove it up your a$$.
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
It`s funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing.
I`ve totally cut carbs out of my diet. Until lunch.
Hey, did you know that in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday!
Me: I`m gonna lose weight. Me: I`m gonna exercise every day. Me: I`m gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?