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Nothing makes you feel more like a kid than the right breakfast cereal. Lucky Charms for me please!
Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.
Don`t half a$$ anything. F*ck it up all the way.
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
I wish the media and politicians would stop jumping to delusions.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
If I throw a stick will you leave?
NEWS FLASH: Man arrested for having sex with a tree.....Police confirm he had wood!!!
he who laughs last thinks slow
Been there, done that. allegedly
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Never marry a tennis player " love means nothing to them "
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.
Well, if you`re going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van.