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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
That`s weird, all this time I thought the Birds and the Bees was a dance from the 50`s.
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
Hummingbirds are just regular birds that can`t remember the lyrics.
I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.
I can’t even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.
That awkward moment when you`re telling the truth, but start laughing like crazy and everyone thinks you`re lying.
A group of toddlers is called a migraine
I sometimes check my blocklist to see how my prisoners are doing
A naughty thought is a terrible thing to waste
If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for β€œreal life” they would offer a class called β€œworking with a$$holes”
People like you are the reason people like me take pills.
Women should run the world. That will give men more time to drink beer and watch sports.
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you?