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It`s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
My salad pic. got more likes than your selfie.
This Donut-Scented Car Air Freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
Don`t worry. Your secret is safe with me. I wasn`t listening anyway.
Iām tired of things costing money.
Someone said to me earlier, "Your face looks very familiar". I said, "I know, I`ve had it a long time."
Facebook has suggested that I POKE you.
Hurricanes, Fires,Tiger running loose ... Whoever is playing Jumanji needs to wrap it up
Only at McDonald`s do they say, "Sorry about your wait" and actually mean "weight" :P
Here`s a crazy concept, maybe I`m not in a bad mood, angry, or a bitch. Maybe I said it because it`s true and I meant it. Marinate on that.
You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!
I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.
Sarcasm is a body`s natural defense against stupid people
Losing weight is not working for me, so I`m concentrating on getting taller.
If you want to talk to me on the phone, I need at least three days notice.