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One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?
If I was a funeral director, I would tie the shoe laces together of the deceased.Then the zombie apocalypse would be hilarious.
This post is just for you.
I wonder what it feels like to be wrong.
I used to care ... but I take a pill for that now.
Hmmm… Who should I stalk on Facebook now? :)
When I asked if you had protection, pepper spray isn’t what I meant.
I hate mosquitoes, I mean I know I’m delicious but damn.
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves.
I may be evil, crazy, insane and f*cking naughty but I do have some good traits, I just don`t dwell on them.
You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.