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SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
Sticks and stones may break your bones. Also good: lead pipes.
We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can`t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away
Roses Are Red, Violets Are Red, Trees Are Red ... F*ck? my gardens on fire!
"The Twilight Zone" makes me long for the days when you could smoke on a spaceship.
Everything I know about women, I learned from the Wizard of Oz. For example: If a woman sees a pair of shoes she wants, she`ll drop a house on the bitch to get them.
Dont freeze your Common sense in the process of being COOL.
National no bra day wasn`t as successful as the creators had hoped. due to sagging attendants and lack of support.
That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too.
China has largest population not because the men are extra horny nor women are extra fertile but because... Their condoms are made in China.
I bet all the cool math nerds call each other algebros.
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
I live in a madhouse, ruled by a tiny army, that I made myself
Instead of walking faster when someone holds a door open for me, I slow down to test their door holding resolve.
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...