Daily Silly Status

There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else`s house.

At a four way stop, it`s obvious that the vehicle bearing the most duct tape goes first.

Neighbor just yelled at me for playing in his sprinkler. Note to self, I should wear clothes next time.

The hardest part of being a gentleman is going to all of these gentlemen’s clubs.

I just ran butt a$$ naked through Walmart yelling "Stop that shoplifter! she got my clothes!"

Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it

Offering a homeless dude $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.

Some of these Giraffe profile pictures are a vast improvement.

Never let the printer know that you are in a hurry.

Did Humpty Dumpty sue them motherf*ckers for making that wall so high?

Inventor of camping: "Hey, let`s go pretend to be homeless."

I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew

For once in my life, I’d like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my p@nis is.

Over half the contacts in my phone are named “Do Not Answer”

To the individual who sat outside in their car, across the street from our house, at 530 am and had Led Zepplens Immigrant Song blaring at full volume, I have one thing to say to you! AWESOME CHOICE DUDE!!!!!!!