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Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
Nothing makes me want to leave a website more than a pop-up window saying, “Are you sure you want to leave this page?”
Ever been completely out of toilet paper that you send your kid next door to get some? Me neither, I just like to embarrass my kid.
Do you ever bring your pet up to a mirror and you`re just like, "That is you."
Sign: "No alcohol past this point." Translation: Bet you can`t chug this entire beer, right now.
Men are like dogs. We`re excited to see you, and we have no idea what you`re mad about.
"Let`s give the bad guy a ponytail." - 80s movies
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
I`m getting worried about this Ebola virus. I mean, I`ve got Norton but...
Bars are Weird Its the only Business that kicks you out for buying TOO much of their Product
I never give money to bums because a.) They probably make more money than I do. b.) They work from home. c.) They get to drink on the job.
I decided I really need to read more. I watch way to much TV ... So I turned on the subtitles.
I don’t appreciate the 5 minute radio ads about how commercial-free the station is.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed a bottle of food coloring. The doctor says I`m OK, but I feel like I`ve dyed a little inside.
"American Pie" ruined it for any kid that actually does have an amazing story from band camp.