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I’m cutting the sleeves off my Snuggie because it makes me look more badass.
Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
Ever gotten that awkward feeling? ..like the one when you realize you`re chewing on a BORROWED pencil?
Often, when I am reading a good book I stop and thank my teacher. Well, I used to. Until she got that restraining order.
OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes!
Someone`s gotta break it to people under 25 that cameras can also point away from themselves.
FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: “Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?”
Today is "find your active cavity at 50% off" day at your local store.
I found the key to happiness ... Stay away from a$$holes.
Fact: No one has ever "Jumped in the shower."
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much sh!t to carry.
I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me.
They say 15 minutes of exercise every day will add 3 years to your life. The problem is that it adds the 3 years to your 80s not your 30s.