Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Got a problem with me? I’m pretty sure a status on Facebook won’t fix it.
I`m not Unemployed, I`m just taking my next job`s vacation in advance...
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I did last year.
The hardest thing about returning to work after a long weekend is remembering to fart quietly.
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called “Identity Theft”.
A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they`ll do nicely"
My best relationship advice: Make sure you`re the crazy one.
I bet it’s called Almond Milk, because no one would buy Nut Juice.
Old video games couldn`t be won. They just got harder and harder until you died. Just like real life.
I can`t wait for Taylor Swift to break up with a black guy, so she can write a rap album!
Shark week is over, but I`m not taking my decorations down.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer
With great power comes a great electricity bill.
I have an inferiority complex,,,,,, but it isn`t a very good one.