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I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
Bigger isn`t always better. Thighs, for example.
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
Why would you pay $80 for a bra at Victoria’s Secret when I can hold your boobs up all day for free.
trying to do something before the microwave is finished is sort of like trying to complete the countdown maths problem on countdown...
Why are kids obese? Maybe because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99.
This year for Lent I`m giving up hanging out with all the people who gave up drinking for Lent.
It`s amazing how many people are diagnosed with a disease as soon as there`s a pill available for it.
This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, “Would you please press 1?” So I did. I don’t remember much afterwards.
If you laid out all of the people in the world who were ever mean to me, I could then drive my car over them.
I hate when someone has a loud conversation on their cell phone and then gives me dirty looks for jotting down everything they say.
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible
Yes, that`s correct. And the horse you rode in on.
Did you guys know that turning up the radio fixes almost all your car problems?! Crazy.
I feel like grabbing some random kid and screaming "I`m YOU from the future!"