Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Last night I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up in the morning, my pillow was gone...
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier`s face: Priceless!
I`d be willing to sleep my way to the top if it actually meant sleeping.
Sports commentators need to stop saying penetrate
It`s finally here! .. That time of year when my seasonal depression turns into just regular depression.
There was a spider in my bathtub so I got a tissue and very carefully burned the house down.
I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
Facebook: Wasting peoples lives since 2004
Don’t waste electricity. How would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Life is different in Christian frats: “You should’ve seen this hot chick I didn’t bang.” “Way to save it for marriage, bro.” *fist bump*
When I think of a selfie, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of
Things could be worse ... sex could be fattening
Missed connection: I was a 15 year old boy, you were 1984 Madonna.
what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.