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I`ll never understand those people who say, "I mainly use facebook for my family." And I`m thinking to myself..."Umm...isn`t that what real life is for?"
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God or man has rested.
I`m "oh my god, gag me with a spoon" years old.
I don`t have an inner child. I have an inner old person who wants everyone to shut up.
Liking something on Facebook instead of commenting is like nodding at someone in an elevator instead of saying hello.
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
ROFL!!ā¦.. LOL jk iām still in my chair.
My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she`s died so I could get out of having to go somewhere
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
I was being taught to use some machinery today, and I was quizzed as to the rules of it`s use. When asked what the first rule is I responded, "You do not talk about Fight Club."
I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.
if your morning beverage isn`t half booze/half coffee, you`re doing Saturday wrong.