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Looking for one night stand! Probably need two! I have a lot of books
Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
I learned how to kiss passionately by practicing on my hand, but now it just uses me for sex.
Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.
Is it true that the older you get the crazier you become? Or is that just me?
Picking and choosing who to say happy birthday to since 2006, thanks Facebook!
Wish my husband got a check from the NFL for all the refereeing he does from his recliner...
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
Has anybody tried unplugging Congress and then plugging it back in?
If these people don’t start giving better advice, I’m no longer going to allow them in my head.
I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things people need to know NASA
I`m watching Godzilla tonight.... His parents asked me to babysit
exercise........you mean extra fries
I wonder if New York people find it weird to watch their own city being destroyed in Hollywood movies so many times..!!
For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there`d be one less blogger.