Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Before I die, I`m putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames.
The downside of DVR is getting freaked out by tornado warnings from four days ago
I find it ironic that it takes 12 steps to get a beer out of my fridge.
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.
The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off
New College Admissions Test ______ not getting into this college: A. Your B. Ur C. You`re D. U`re
I`m glad the guy who came up with "No means no" didn`t do the whole dictionary
No matter how much you push the envelope - it`ll still be stationery.
I’m supporting our troops today by going commando.
I think I`ve finally found someone I could spend the rest of my life with, I should probably get out of her closet and introduce myself.
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
You seem to have a good grip on reality. You`re new here, aren`t you?
I think I’m going to take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it…
iTunes got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.
I’d steal a doughnut truck and attempt to outrun the cops, just to let people see a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck!