Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I would watch tennis more often if they replaced the ball boys with untrained golden retrievers.
Reality is for those who can`t handle alcohol
Oops is farting in the elevator and thinking it would be silent.
I`ve decided I`m not going to focus on my past anymore. So, if I owe you money, I`m sorry.
Saw a chameleon today. So I guess it`s safe to say it was a pretty sh!tty chameleon.
I would leave my house a LOT more if I could take the couch with me and wear my pajamas.
I`m at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for
I got in the shower with my slippers still on this morning. Is this the start of dementia or the continuum of stupidity I wonder?
A colon is used to indicate a list of elements to the sentence preceding it. A semicolon is for making winky faces.
I wish these people who sing songs on the radio would learn the words to the song, they keep messing me up!!
The older I get the more use I have for the phrase "bite me."
I declare today, “Hit that dumb person you’ve always wanted to punch in the face day.”
If you trip and are about to fall on the ground yell "He`s got a gun!" and then you`ll look like a cool hero.
I would of read and liked your status if it wasn`t like 3 pages long.
Garage sales are the gateway drug to Walmart.