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A stranger at Walmart just coughed in my face, so I`ve probably only got two, maybe three, days to live.
It`s all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
Dramatically slamming a book shut upon finishing it was way more satisfying than switching my Kindle off and gently placing it on the table.
If this world got any smaller I`d probably fall off - George T. Ignace
Who needs a social life when you have Netflix and a fridge full of food?
Give a man a gun he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob everybody
My husband woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on his face. I love Sharpie markers.
If you see a road sign that says "Survey Crew Ahead" they actually are not looking for your opinions ... I know that now.
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
No magician can do a trick that impresses me as much as that ‘take off my bra and make it appear out of my sleeve’ thing that girls do.
Monday :`( Tuesday :-( Wednesday :- Thursday :-/ Friday :-| Saturday :-) Sunday B-)
“Yes” is a perfectly legitimate response when asked how many drinks you’ve consumed.
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up -- In 30 minutes? In 3 hours? In 9 years? No one can ever be sure.
There are some people in this world who make you totally understand Hannibal Lecter.