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I`m a spontaneous procrastinator
Pandas are proof that if you have a cute enough outfit no one will call you fat.
I tried to log in on my ipad. Turns out it was an Etch-a-Sketch and I don`t own an ipad. Also, I`m out of vodka.
I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. I couldn`t park anywhere near the place
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
I`m in a good place right now. Not emotionally....just that I`m at the liquor store.
A Smart car Zoomed past me And vanished into a pothole.
does anyone know if smurfs are gluten free
ROFL!!ā¦.. LOL jk iām still in my chair.
If by angry birds you mean flipping off a$$holes while driving then yes I`m at the expert level of Angry Birds
Do people with cats not know about dogs?
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
Best thing = Waking up, looking in your refrigerator and seeing a pizza box.
Alcohol does not make you fat. It makes you lean. Mostly against walls, tables, chairs, bars, floors & occasionally, weirdos ..
I paid My 11 year old $10 to do the dishes, then on her way to the bathroom I mugged her...because, you know, life lesson.