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Hey, somebody get ready to wake up the guy in Green Day.
Definition: Brain - Your body`s hardest working organ. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from birth until you...fall in love.
Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
?-- that guy is cute ?
Tomorrow I will live in the moment, unless it`s unpleasant, in which case I will eat a cookie.
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
My resume is basically just a list of things I hate to do.
The toughest thing in business is minding your own.
Me on New Years Eve: “I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.”
The great thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors.
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.
The fact that I start clapping every time someone says "Please give me a hand" is only like the number 6 reason I dont have friends.
Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house, but that fly is dead.
The best part of being single is that you always get to be right.