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Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band..
So I was thinking... We should get drunk and make bad decisions.
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
There`s really no telling how successful I could have been if the internet hadn`t been invented...
Sometimes I feel like people I know are just using me for my likes.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last month, but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway.
This is a lousy dating site.
I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it`s nice to see agreeable babies out there.
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts.
Girls these days be like `I wanna get the Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet`N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice tan look`
To avoid conversations at work, always walk with purpose and a toilet plunger.
Fitness? More like, fitness whole pizza in my mouth.
Multitasking (verb) - Screwing up several things at once.
There are 10 types of people in the world, Those that understand binary, and those who don`t.