Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing is as scary as logging into Facebook and seeing someone you were secretly with last night has uploaded a new album.
I started to question my sanity this morning, It told me to "Shut up and chew through the straps....). I was free by noon......Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I`ve been having really bad headaches lately. The doctor said they were all in my head.
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlik the rest of you morons.
If one of your life goals is to fight with someone about how to load a dishwasher, may I suggest marriage.
I love how in movies when someone types a really embarrassing secret they always accidentally send it to the whole school, and they also coincidentally have the phone number of everyone.
Do one thing every day that scares you. Or one thing that scares other people.
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until some drunken idiot walks face first into a closed sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
A small child called 911 upon seeing a zebra because he thought a horse escaped from jail
I try to do all my pooping at work. Cause if you can get paid to poop, you`d be a fool not to.
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
Ever notice how it`s never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes?
They should`ve added "Might lose a lot of sleep" in Facebook`s terms & conditions before signing up.