Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
First the Jerk cut me off in traffic, then stole my parking space, then his stupid car got paint all over my key!
I pretend I’m taking an important call and use big words when old people walk by so they’ll think the future is in good hands.
People that chew gum and drink alcohol what the f*ck is wrong with you.
why hello there stalker! Enjoying my profile?(=
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
I love buying a $1 burger and getting $2 worth of mayo...
Why are clothes so expensive? I shouldn`t have to pay so much to not be naked. Other people should pay me not to be naked.
Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye after you hit send.
"Lets hang out sometime" -liars.
I was called sexist today. So..i said i think ur mistaken...its pronounced sexy! LOL
I fell asleep with infomercials playing on the TV.... I woke up with a strange desire to do P90X with a Shake Weight while in my Snuggie
Fat, single and ready for a Pringle.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
As far as distractions go ... I like to think I`m a good one.
just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I`m so confused