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Only 273 fruit roll-ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit...
A lot of people are very competitive when playing stupid.
I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone
Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It`s not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
You are wasting your time reading this status.
Can`t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they look.
You don`t have to dress like you`re a handbag, unless you are Lady Gaga.
is bored of being bored because being bored is boring.
Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Facebook. “…you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave…”
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
I`m not opposed to manscaping, but I don`t see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
Those beards make the Red Sox look like they`re going to a Civil War reenactment as Confederates.
If flying is really so safe, then why is it called the `terminal`?