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I’ve probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge.
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When i quized him on it, he reckoned he could stop aaaany time . . . .
My wife even says "NO" in her sleep. The force is strong with this one.
I have off-road rage, too
The sight of naked cleavage reduces a man`s ability to reason by 50% ... Per boob.
When we give each other a thumbs up, it`s our way of mocking every other animal on earth.
If you can say "I made six figures last year," you either have a well paying job or you`re the worst employee at a toy factory
One great thing about life before the internet was if you met someone, you didn`t then have to know them the rest of your life.
I don’t just sing in the shower... I perform.
Wives give sound advice. 99% sound, 1% advice.
I don`t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it
As I got older my six-pack turn into a keg.
It’s been “one of those days” for like 3 years now.
Remember when everyone died before gluten-free bread?
I like to think all pizzas are personal pizzas.