Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I really need a long road trip, top down, in the Jeep...with a cooler....loud music....and an extra cooler in case the first one isn`t enough
This liquor store needs a dollar menu.
The more neighbors I spy on through my binoculars, the creepier I think all my neighbors are!
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.
Miley Cyrus could never live in the kind of cold we`re having here. Can you imagine all the poles her tounge would get stuck to?
Scientists have discovered that at least 50 percent of fat people’s BMI is made up of excuses...
At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
The only thing actually impossible in life is taking a picture for a group of women and having ALL of them like it.
God knew that there would be times that a single middle finger wouldn`t be enough.
If you`ve ever wondered which of your friends are really amazing, you`re in luck today. :)
If you see a porcupine in your yard, that`s my cat and we`re not done with our accupuncture session.
I wonder how the Never-ending story is doing.
I hate when people passive-aggressively post vague, indirect statuses. You know who you are...
The best time to re-examine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.