Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Five years ago my boss asked me where I wanted to be in five years. I finally know the answer: Not Here
DUI attorneys should buy some ad space on those Taco Bell hot sauce packets.
Einstein was wrong. The real definition of insanity is trying to clean your house when you have children.
Whoa! Thank you warning label! I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
I thought my name was "Stop encouraging him" until I was 11.
with great power...comes great electric bill...
Why do they call a grapefruit a grapefruit? I mean there is already a fruit called a grape!!
I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
You need a high five, in the face, with a chair.
I don`t quite get women who have like 15 bridesmaids. I don`t even like 15 people altogether in my life.
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
Well it`s almost time for that " New Year -- New Me " bullsh_t again!
I can see your camouflage pants, so they`re not working.
The best government job has to be assigning names to secret operations.
The internet is full of cats because dog people actually go outside.