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Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn’t like.
If you’re not fully satisfied with your life, do something about it. Or complain about it on the internet. Whatever you prefer.
We may be an advanced nation but we still have to remind employees to wash their hands when they pee.
The hardest thing about looking for work is the sobriety.
Girls are too sensitive. She said she was having twins and I said, "At least you`ll finally have 2 kids by the same father."
In the United States a man gets kicked in the groin every 6.2 seconds. I would hate to be that man.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding… that the other person is a complete idiot!
Men are like dogs. We`re excited to see you, and we have no idea what you`re mad about.
The only thing that makes me happy about the launch of a new model cell phone is that I can finally afford the previous model.
A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs...by keeping Taco Bell open 24 hours.
I know u r but what am I ?
Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever.
On the plus side of 2017, the use of the words `awesomesauce` and `amazeballs` were at an all time low.
It must be exhausting being offended by everything.
Why does the sound of the recliner opening always remind my wife the trash needs to be taken out?