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More food should come with prizes inside it.
Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
It`s really ironic that I mostly use my driver`s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive.
I suffer from paranoia and procrastination. Everyone is out to get me, just not right now.
Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I’m “the one,” but isn’t talking to a police officer.
I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
Facebook: Wasting peoples lives since 2004
There’d be less accidents if there was a texting lane.
I`ve had enough of my neighbours blasting their music from their backyard. I`m not annoyed cause it`s so loud, i`m annoyed cause they`re Korean & they`ve still yet to play Gangnam Style!
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore
Being alone with my thoughts can be quite boring unless alcohol is involved
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit"
Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps, or does he just feel like he is at work?
Nothing starts my day off quite like an inspirationsl status!...May your day go fast, your socks match and your underwear no ride up your a$$.