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Some girls are so desperate. Who calls 3 times, leaves a voicemail, and sends a text?? Take a hint, mom.
If I had a time machine I`d go back to 900 A.D. and just scare the sh!t out of people with an electric toothbrush.
Did you know that if you light a candle under the moonlight and you say 3 times the name of the person you love, you will look really stupid doing that!
The guy below me obviously has never seen R2-D2.
I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid. And some I’d love to punch them in the face.
If it defies all logic, and makes very little sense then it was probably my idea...
So bored at work I can`t even think of something to goggle
Just a word of advice for all you single guys having a hard time out there, Forget the clubs, forget the churches, forget the online dating sites, as the best places to meet single women are the freezer section and down the cat food isle.....
Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I’m starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
These Days everything is really starting to Click!.......My knee`s, my elbows, and the rest of my joints!
Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything.
Things ain`t nobody got time for: That
Don’t judge me because I only have $4 in my pocket. Judge me because I stole it off my daughter’s night stand.
A friend suggested I see a therapist but the truth is, I like being f*cked up.
Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I`m left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that`s cheating?