Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wisdom is understanding that a tomato is a fruit, but you don`t add it in a fruit salad.
PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
I cant afford a Snuggie so I just wear my robe backwards...
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
People are always weirded out when I take notes during episodes of Dexter.
Most people donate to the homeless. Me? I donate to the topless.
John has 35 candy bars. If John eats 27 of them what does he have? .... Diabetes. John has diabetes.
Happy Elastic Waistband Day
Raising teenagers is easy, they sleep 16 hours day, eat the other 8, and the only word in their vocab is "ok"
I`m just chilling tonight with my new plane ... Oops, I`ve said too much.
I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping.
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
I painted a banner for our annual family picnic, but my Mom thought "Celebrating 100 Years of Undiagnosed Mental Illness" was inappropriate.
What`s this g-mail? I just got used to e-mail. And why did they skip f-mail?
We should be nicer to old people. When they walked uphill both ways in the snow they had to do it without an internet connection too.