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Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
Pumpkin for sale. Slightly used
If you can`t fix it with duct tape or beer ... it ain`t worth fixin`
Well your honor, I thought handing her the curling iron while she was showering would get her ready faster.
Excessive consumption of alcohol seems like a good idea.
"I`m only having one" ...said by many, practiced by none.
My 6yo`s homework today is learning how to count backwards. Yep, that teacher knows about DUIs alright!
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
You only live once is the most reassuring thing I`ve ever heard.
My dog doesn`t always bark like there`s an intruder in the house, but when he does he waits until I`m home alone and in the shower.
First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.
I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.
Current relationship status: Leaving pizza and beer in the bushes, to lure in stalkers.
Drinking Tip: Never buy the first round cause that`s when people care what they`re drinking!