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Some people might as well post ‘Wants Attention’ as their Facebook status.
Tequila... cuz the bed isn`t goin to spin itself!
Home is where the pants aren`t.
"I`m sorry" and "I apologise" mean the same thing...except when you`re at a funeral.
If you`re going take a bathroom picture, at least clean it off. I can`t see anything through all the toothpaste.
I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.
I have no problem texting while driving, but I won’t text while going down stairs. That sh!t’s dangerous.
I always wince when someone tells me they’re going to hit the sack.
Let`s face it. Seeing a camel toe in leopard print tights at Walmart is probably the closest any of us will ever get to going on an African safari.
News flash, ladies. Men are settling for you, too.
My body is made up of 90% water, 5% pizza and 5% wine.
I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up.
Christmas time always make me blue :-(( and then red, then green, then oh wow.. presents...
Apparently, saying “Wow, you’ve grown since I last saw you” isn’t deemed socially acceptable when said to adults.
Ain`t no sunshine when she`s gone..... or sandwiches.... Ain`t no sandwiches either.