Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t try to annoy people; its just a gift.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead, but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
I get so confused when I`m about to watch a TV show or movie and "For Mature Audiences Only" appears on the screen. Can I watch or not?
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
Facebook is the best place to say whatever you want. If it doesn’t go over well you can just say you were hacked.
Let`s all play a game: For every political post, you must post 5 non political posts. #makefacebookhappyagain
My math is never so quick or exact as when I see an old flame with a child.
When I`m on my deathbed, I`m definitely going to ask if I can be moved to a different bed.
Rough day! I have now completed the top 6 things off my to-do list ... Time to go get another six pack I guess.
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
The only exercise I`ve done this month is running out of money
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
Apparently, you shouldn’t ask your wife if she’s off her meds more than once a week…
Wow, that Macy`s parade is crazy! The Kanye West float just cut off Snoopy and said Woodstock can fly better!