Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Behind every strong woman is a man that she needs to open jars and get things off high shelves.
A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughter`s school concert.
Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality
Checking the time on your phone twice because you were`nt paying attention the first time
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called “Identity Theft”.
Relationship status: If I slam on my brakes really hard... The seatbelt hugs me back.
I only seem to remember I want to lose weight after eating 6 cookies.
If you`ve lost your appetite today, I think I have it.
I went for a run but came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I`m fat and can`t run for more than 2 minutes.
Step aside coffee, this job is going to take hard liquor.
I wonder whether I can trust doctors with dead plants in the waiting room.
A coworker gave me an invitation to her wedding in case you were wondering why this paper airplane I’m making has lace on it.
Ladies: If he’s right handed, and you find the mouse to the left of the computer monitor, there is only one explanation. Sorry Guys.
My friend won a trip to China. He´s out there now... trying to win a trip back.