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I am not available because I am looking at porn that takes up the whole computer screen
Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be "YOUR" blood.
if there wasn´t a last minute I´d never get anything done.
Went to the bookstore to pick up a "Where`s Waldo" book today, but couldn`t find any. Well played Waldo, well played...
Perhaps Voldemort’s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or sexier than you. That would be me.
I hope the next big trend in music is Talent.
Sometimes I just go to work for the free internet.
Roses are red, violets are blue. god made me pretty,what happened to you?
I wish more events in life involved dumping a cooler full of Gatorade on people.
The only charities I`ve donated money too recently are covered in glitter and dance to bad music.
I wish that we lived in a world where a chicken could cross the road without getting its motives questioned.
I can`t afford to go on vacation these days,so I just drink until I don`t know where the duck I am or how I got there.
Hello... Modeling Agency? Ya, my selfie just got 34 likes I think I`m ready to go pro!