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I don`t care how the future pans out, any amazon delivery from now on is referred to as a drone strike.
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
It`s not a mental breakdown if the police wasn`t called.
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
Don`t just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair
Just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen.
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
When I was your age, we drank water straight out of the sink.
"Latte" is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I love to punch in the face.
Free snow at my house. Shovel all you want!
I`m like the toughest guy in this comic book store.
Give a man a fish & he`ll eat for a day. Give a man a jelly fish and you can pee on him.
You`ll notice you never see sweatpants with "Classy" written across the butt.
Nobody looks back at their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.