Daily Silly Status

I don`t think my blind date was blind, she read the menu and caught the basketball I threw at her

Before I die, I`m putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames.

If I could choose any one mythological creature to become alive & real, I`d have to pick…My girlfriend.

I went to McDonald`s to grab my boys a couple of Happy meals. The guy serving me says "Would you like a Boy Toy"? I was like, "listen hear you little sh!t, you couldn`t handle me if you tried"!! What is this world coming too... :))

I figured out the chemical composition of Holy Water. It`s H2OMG

NEVER go to a wet t shirt contest drunk. I won 2nd place.

Ladies, when it comes to stalking, I`m 100% behind you.

Auctioneers are proof white guys could rap if they tried hard enough.

Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. It messes with your mind & steals your happiness.

I enjoy going to costume parties that have a theme. ..."Nude Beach" is my personal favorite.

Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity........thats how rich I want to be.

Remember, you can always run from your problems. Unless your problem is a Cheetah.....then you`re screwed!

I`m 84% less productive in a swivel chair.

I`d care more about your feelings if they came with a toy and chicken nuggets.

I need a job that pays at least 10,000 dollars an hour.