Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Telling my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage
Tomorrow, history will be made. Months and months of advertisements and anticipation has led up to this historic day. America will see firsthand what is surely to be a historic event, and I am proud to say I will do my part and pick up my copy of Halo 4.
If you live by the sword, I guess that is pretty cool. I live by some trees and shit.
1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have `lady problems` then start crying. It works even better for guys.
Poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange.
Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside
I just responded to a text message with: I can`t hear you, you`re breaking up.
Has marriage been on Mythbusters yet?
I got the girl to hysterically laugh today just by asking her out for a date.
I`m not mental, other wise the rubber duckies would have told me by now...
Iām thinking of leaving my body to science. Even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
Tip for Sunday Church: Don`t forget to keep your phones on silent, especially if your ringtone is `I like big butts and I do not lie!`
I`ve decided to add more positivity in my life. So, now when I say someone`s an a@#hole, I qualify it with......... but he`s really good at it...........and I`m positive about that!
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
I just went dumpster diving.. and hit the mother load. Tons of dude gear and tools! It smelled of angry white woman.