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30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
I need new swear words.
Karma’s only a bitch if you are.
The good thing about "poking" on Facebook, no babies are created.
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
Did anyone else ever wonder why the Easter Bunny gave away chocolate eggs? Last I checked, bunnies don’t lay eggs. What kind of sick new species is this?
If you can`t celebrate Valentine`s Day with someone you love, forget about it at a bar that you like...
My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film.
I’m no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to f*ck off today, you’ll feel better.
I`d like to thank Tetris for making me really good at loading my dishwasher.
I have no idea how I used to look for things in the dark before I had a cellphone.
I don`t have a drinking problem. If anything, I`m TOO good at it.
Born free. Now, I’m expensive.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
I can`t take this long distance relationship anymore.. Fridge, you`re coming to my room.